“The most typical problem one can have when you are pretentious ‘Mr. Know It All’ is you don’t do things because you think you know the result.
You don’t share things because you know nobody cares. Even if some do, they won’t comprehend the importance. And if by God’s grace some did, they won’t have the patience.
You don’t open completely to people because you know people are not trustworthy. Even if people are, the situations they could be in, are not.
I think a lot..
Maybe more than required.
It would not be exaggerating if I say, that my efforts are usually to think about each possible outcome of a situation. It is pretty contradicting because I like to be surprised. Something which we have not thought of, not planned for. Something random. It sometimes feel like a possibility has on purpose not been considered or left untouched by me just because, on subconscious level, I wish for the unexpected to happen.
I try to categorize people around me in a pretty interesting manner. It is not based on who is how much close to me. I don’t do ‘close’ now.
It is based on how much I am aware of the conditions regarding a person where he/she would betray my expectations. It decides my comfort zone.
Then comes the people whom I don’t know. No introduction. No expectation.
Most difficult, new acquaintances. And then starts the rigorous routine of observation to put them in the comfortable list.
The most comfortable people to be around are those whom I could predict. Who I know could lie to me on certain occasions, would ditch me on certain events, even bite behind my back. It could be outrageous but their reactions are expected.
Maybe that’s why I am easy around most people. If you don’t give people the power to startle you or to catch you off guard, what is there to be afraid of?
If the above description would have been given to me, I would have guessed the person to be a practical kind of person. On the contrary, I am as dreamy as they come. I am positive that there always is a hope. You can call it a chink in the armor. Sometimes even knowing things is not enough.”
Aalekh typed it all and read it. His protagonist felt like he wanted to be heard, but without shouting. He wanted to be understood, but without explaining. He wanted to be loved, but without begging. He thought of making some changes to it, but felt a distinct affinity towards him. “Let’s see if it works”, he whispered to himself and slipped into his bed, reminding himself the deadline set for the submission of the draft copy of the novel.