It feels like I have gone deaf.
It feels like the brain, which tried to keep the heart in check,
has itself been dragged into the endless loop
of differentiating between the boundaries.
It feels like each of the sensory organs has surrendered,
following the precedent set by the ears.
Devoided of their default role to sustain this perfect mirage.
Shattering it, rebuilding it, shattering it again.
It feels like they are working overtime in overdrive.
It feels a lot.
It feels like the world around me is trying too hard to give me perspective.
A theoretically practical perspective in today’s world.
A practically flawed perspective in my world.
It feels like there is a lot to live for, a lot to live by.
It feels like there is nothing to live it with.
It feels like my back is bowed, stiff, constricted.
I wish I could see what I was carrying on it.
What I have been piling up since who knows how long.
It feels to everyone like everything is normal.
Even better than normal. Call it luck.
It feels that the price I have been extorted off,
for this luck to shine the pinky tip of the iceberg, is a bad trade.
It feels like I am being ripped off blatantly, and constantly by the cosmos,
still incapable of explaining my agony.
It feels as if we deal in different currencies,
with no visible equivalent point.